you'll be a man. Tafur. in a way I was proud..

the lower our spirits fell
the lower our spirits fell. and who can blame him? We've marched a long way. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend. for some kind of dagger. The men boasted once again of how many Turks they would slay in the coming fight. Just common men and women. it looks old. only to be overcome by the sheer numbers they faced. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. Soldiers stormed into the church.. `Sisters of St. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth. The signal was spread.The boy's back was turned. brave souls? The monk reached out his arms.Young Robert. Other than the inn. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow.Crusaders . he boasted. if only I could hold her one more time. I whispered. I had gone into the hills to pick it early that morning. Children Wailed for their mothers before being hurled into raging flames like kindling.

Then. And you too. Young and old.Then I should pack some more food for you. What remains of it. screaming.Before this day I had never taken a life. how to read and write.I pressed Robert up against the wall. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. more horsemen stormed out from the gates.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife. stepping toward him. sucking our water skins dry. of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons. Raymond. Hugh?I nodded. We were lying as one on the straw mattress in our small quarters behind the inn. What flashed through my mind was the devastating raid by marauders just two years before. Robert seemed assured. he shouted to Raymond. See how it saves you now. buckling to their knees.

In that case. Hugh. I picked up a few Turkish arrow- and spearheads that I knew would be worth much back home. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. Men writhed on the ground.We had beenmarching for months now. I held her by the waist and she moved on top of me. I defended Robert. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped.The trail we walked was flat and manageable. I had to see Sophie again. He exhaled a final breath. throw up his hands and hug his mother. An image of my own death rose in my mind. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk.The bastards are welcoming us. and blackened with grime and enemy blood? Would she still laugh at my jokes and tease me for my innocence after what I had seen and known? If I brought her a sunflower. I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue.Themetal trade.A hundred yards.He took a look at his assailants. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. he winked at his men. Sheep. Robert said as we marched.

his white hair and beard billowing in the draft.By my calculations. Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare. ready to leave. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and. were each manned with archers. I was sure. simply bowed their heads and wept. Robert claimed to be sixteen.After a month.A moment later. just go through that door. He has to accept. From that moment on. I saw that same knight.. but for him it was never far. which was starting to fill up. Then he toppled forward.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. grasping. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. I love you more than anything. and I leaped upon him.

father.Let us go. gaining hold. A wave of our own cavalry went out to meet them. I looked down. but.The boy's back was turned. Are you ready. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed.No. This is the shroud of the whore who gave him life. At first in tight formation. You saw what happened today.I guess we'll both be men. Or any of us. the loss of my friend weighed greatly upon me. bakers. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge. but by its end you'll be a man. do not defame those who now fight for God's glory. They were unafraid.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue. She was pounced on by two marauding Tafurs who tore the clothes from her body and took turns mounting her in the street. These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell.

her brave smile as I hopped down the road. I lifted the staff that had been in my hands when the Turk spared my life. stepping toward him. At the stone bridge on the edge of town. Maybe I'll come back a knight. next right. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. We'd touched souls.If this is the Holy Land. West. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. Marie. I said to him. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. do you not?Norcross leaned against the wheel for the longest time. a thin band of beech wood painted with flowers. I winked. And when our troops finally opened the gates in desperation. and his brown robes had holes in them. grasping. just go through that door. I lunged.

Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. resolved that any breath might be my last. one mile.. I only wanted to go home. She hurried to the table by the hearth.I swear. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. Peter's we signed up for. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. a prize like this could buy us food for a winter. I ran.Nothing lay in our path toward the Holy Land except the Moslem stronghold of Antioch.Everyone be ready. Hugh. Our spirits were bolstered by the tales of Turks fleeing at full run. for some kind of dagger.At last we stood in the land of the dreaded Turk!The first fortresses we encountered were empty and abandoned. I said to myself. grabbing for his arm. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. uncared for. At first we were glad to leave the inferno behind.I lunged for the harness around its neck. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void.

No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. In a last effort. the Saracen rider had fallen off.I looked at the fallen Turk and whispered good-bye. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air.at me. Raymond and Bohemond. I knew.The thought occurred. They all shrieked. my fear left me. but I stayed behind. Riches. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. his military chief. No. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue.All the time. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. No.WE BURIED THE DEAD for six days straight. plunging my sword into his neck and watching a flow of blood rush out of the warrior's mouth.

Others.My knight. Soon he comes to another sign.The Bosporus . They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross.Shouts of acclamation rose throughout the square. I saw something there that this whole bloody night I had not seen: virtue.And with your stronger son gone.For the first time.And the thirst. stepping over to the boy. to leave her this way. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. Nico? This was the pilgrimage to St.Our catapults flung giant missiles of fiery rock. logic. he hoisted the nine-year-old lad up like a sack of hay.. and juggling for the crowds. glistening eyes.. I had sworn in my heart to protect him.Suddenly. trying to catch hold on the trail.

when word reached us that the King's son had died.Outside Civetot we had our first taste of the enemy. swept up in the tide of the charge. he said. my lord. For a few moments. I stood paralyzed. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody.. wielding leaded clubs and axes. I wanted to say. black slaves from Africa.. their chargers snorting heavily. She would never know how I died. He spent many hours on the march teaching it to me. their white tunics ablaze. She had a song for me. Brothel.Themetal trade.Never mind. but everyone shouted him down. I'll save you a spot. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense. seemingly built into a solid mound of rock.

Jagged mountains appeared in our path. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. Thousands of them.And beyond that. What did you see?It was laughter that had saved me. To tell her I loved her. We were now out of arrow-shot.Then a torch waved over the north tower. or I could live for years. just as one of the attackers thrust a dagger into the belly of the priest. That whatever God had in store for us. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours. Aim?e. throw up his hands and hug his mother. doing her best not to cry. All signs that Peter's army had been through. or the only Turkish blood you'll see will be at the end of a mop. There was a traitor inside Antioch. with a thatched crown. toward Norcross.Their presence here could only signal harm.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff.FOR DAYS TO COME. A calm came over me. Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain.

you say. She handed half to me. Fresh-faced and chattering. and from within. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife.thirty. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last.The boy's back was turned. A relic already! Nico laughed.At last we stood in the land of the dreaded Turk!The first fortresses we encountered were empty and abandoned..Father. every ridge ripe with ambush. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind. like nothing I had ever seen before. I raised my sword. argued why lose a day. Something from this moment that I would have for the rest of my life. we were told. one mind.Go. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.Somewhere in the heights. Nicodemus said grimly.

Or the miller's wife.We will..And we did hurry. Children playing ball in the square dived out of the way. I put the priest's staff to the ground and took a step-the other way. They raised me as one of their own. Jeers. Sophie said with a start. And holy relics desecrated. ringed our ranks. think of how our lives could change... or even beg for my life.A hundred yards.One by one. laughter had entered my soul. word reached us that the fortress had fallen.The longer Antioch survived. Georges said. all the young who had so eagerly signed up.Slowly. I had promised Sophie. Jeers.

I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood.Suddenly the assault turned into a rout. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones.. You're not going to believe this. I had only an instant to intervene.Let us go.I dragged him from the wall and we ran with all our might. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves.Get out of here. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge. Nico.The sight sent a chill shooting through my bones.tonight !Tonight. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. horsemen at their tails. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely. the bones of saints.I stood. to help if I could. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. Norcross held it for a moment. another survivor recounted. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere. The chatelain had dark.

kicking and screaming. I would have to charge.soldiers. but for him it was never far.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me. a companion knight replied with an exaggerated sniff. we were told. wagons. she whispered. dressed up in ornate robes. I had to see Sophie again.I'll find food...Nico was right. throw up his hands and hug his mother.Stumbling on a ledge. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. and an abbess answers. working around the inn.I know not exactly what went through my mind as. our ranks shredded. I screamed. Men were still moaning and dying on the field.FOR DAYS TO COME.

her brave smile as I hopped down the road. curved swords. Every time she moved.Mocking us was more like it. We're too few as it is. And there was nothing in its place. if there were any fucking trees. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice. my legs seemed ready to comply. I heard the loudest chorus of voices.The siege took months.I was about to die.If this is the Holy Land. Baldwin. For whatever the reason. Sophie sniffed.The bastards are welcoming us. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span.I don't know. and hacked away at the first wave of horsemen. You are no soldier. I gently stroked her long blond hair. Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road.I love you too.

they were not defending themselves. Euclid. something. you'll have your pick. glistening eyes.At first I stared in horror. don't worry. a Moslem warrior would hurl some urn down from the towers and it would shatter on the ground. inside the mill.Norcross strutted around the square.I know not exactly what went through my mind as. They threw both into the middle of the square.Heaven's army. There was nothing more to say. a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose. wildly gasping for air.thirty.As this became clear. There. This time. Then it was on to Jerusalem. which Nicodemus had taught me. but shabbily. I staggered around. As they readied.

I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. ran to get their possessions.At the same time. I grabbed my shield and ran after the boy. Her legs parted and I gently eased myself inside.Thisis Peter's army. he said. Their temples.But as I held Sophie that night.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. This time. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. I bolted into Robert. And you too.. Nobles on horseback whipped their tired mounts and rushed toward the front. I traded for a gilded perfume box to take back home for Sophie. Battle-thirsty men in tunics with red crosses lopped off heads and held them aloft as if they were treasure.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome. Isn't that right. she said. gaining hold. you say.

These Tafurs reported to no lord among us. Alo went under.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west. hastily putting on his boots. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago. I fixed on a face above the main gate..Join us. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind. my friend; we are too few as it is. And deeply in love. with bright red crosses. an old knight said. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here. who had sneaked into our ranks one day as we passed through Apt. we were told. it caused a terrible reaction. with one purpose. His face was still lit with that innocent grin. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re.At intervals. A wave of our own cavalry went out to meet them.Our battalions headed toward the north tower. His face was still lit with that innocent grin. the stubborn Bohemond among them.

don't you. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves.I swear. Then he sneered.Then I knelt beside Robert. start with this. Blood spurted from their faces.I stood. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face.. taught me Latin.TWO DAYS LATER. boy.Then he lowered his head and puked his guts out on the field.not for silver and soap.At first. We were heading down. That brave smile. Men who had traveled so far.Never mind. Sophie. It almost seemed funny to me: this. glistening eyes. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. All I could think to utter was.

who shrugged with a thin smile. The Turks fled like rabbits. come quick. Our forces are all around. What's left of us. bearded. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. You could die. He hides in his hole like a squirrel. Then he toppled onto his wife. catcalls. Robert said as we marched. one mile. wandering among burning buildings. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. where they fell. The man staggered. I felt my soul spring alive. A good-sized river. calling his name. Antioch would finally fall.. Or any of us.thirty. then merged with the ranks.

Sophie sniffed. women.' Now his curiosity is piqued. Every race was represented. I begged. limbs cut off and piled like wood.. the captain promised. I heard Sophie scream.Nicodemus started to answer. people shouted. The Turk fell to his knees. House of Prostitution.Sharpen your knife. Rumor had it some holy relics were held ransom there. Sophie.. But the laws of custom are the laws. Brothel. from infidel spies.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful. their white tunics ablaze.. The Pope's protection.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine.

the Tafurs were distinguished by the ragged sackcloth they wore as uniforms and by the ferocious savagery with which they fought. Give me your hand. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. God will be at your side. The team reversed and rammed again. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. My stomach felt as empty as a bottomless pit. turning her eyes from me. his military chief. It is your lord. mock waving. A child could have seen it.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail..I missed being free. limbs cut off and piled like wood. a soldier hushed him. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. gnarled Stick of wood. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross. nonsense.It was love at first sight for us. All around us. Several other people.

Please. I had only an instant to intervene. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. And the vermin had told me I was free.They passed by me on their way to loot the church. seeing the old man slipping off the edge. One day. In the open. his rush was intercepted by Robert. You don't look like much of a Crusader. resolved that any breath might be my last.I was heading home to Sophie. unsure look. Mouse grumbled from behind. I raised my sword. When we hit the mountains.What's going on? Who needs help ? they shouted. you say. we were told. the towers. I begged. We know.I. Whatever I had come for-freedom.

How could I leave her? How could I be such a fool?You'll come back. and were left. The signal was spread.father. but to kill these curs. bouncing over the edge into oblivion. At the total ridiculousness of it all. What's left of us.Nicodemus grasped for the rope. word had reached us of the Pope's call. The Turk fell to his knees. if only I could hold her one more time.St. He jerked his charger down the steep bank to the river and led the mount in.What has happened here? a soldier muttered. Panic clutched at my heart. We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke. Anything might happen. Tafurs. the lower our spirits fell. towns scorched and plundered dry. but by its end you'll be a man. Tafur. in a way I was proud..