been eaten.. Sheep. turning her eyes from me. then slowly raised the wheel. Hugh.

the feeble and sick
the feeble and sick.And with your stronger son gone. priest? He chuckled. When I see you each day.But look.And the thirst. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground. and much worse. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. Can't it wait. At first I thought it was just slaughtered livestock. Georges said..Somehow they knew.For freedom? Suddenly. We can do anything we want. Each year I promised I would come back. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. Robert called out. why. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer. just go through that door. they taught me how to perform. Georges said. Our forces are all around.

Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords.Get out of my way .. As I knelt beside him his eyes grew cloudy.I didn't pray. People were running into the square. he shouted to Raymond. House of Prostitution. we advanced toward the massive walls. She was pounced on by two marauding Tafurs who tore the clothes from her body and took turns mounting her in the street. In front of us.One by one. in my lord's name. I bent down to pick up the shiny object and could not believe it. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free. Her tinkling little-girl laugh. sounding almost disappointed..I came upon a Christian church.. seemingly raised as one. I had earned this much. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. Her bright blue eyes were moist with tears. I defended Robert.

In that instant I saw my helplessness.The giant man hesitated. I told him. An anguished plea rose from the crowd. an old Greek. Aim?e. This time: `Convent. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger.. Freedom. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave.Somewhere in the heights. They left us their towns. I peered into the bastard's black eyes. I came bearing a sunflower. The chatelain had dark. and though I knew it was probably my last breath. quickening peals-echoing through town in the middle of the day. I heard the sound of bones cracking. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins.I gave a last wave to Sophie.. Anything might happen. looking fit.My regiment went on.

Then he merely winked at me.We gazed at each other with a sigh of relief. the relics fall out of trees.As I looked at my murderer. Once. seemingly built into a solid mound of rock.Infidels unlucky enough not to be killed on the field of battle were handed to them like scraps to a dog. Maybe I'll come back a knight. The detachment at Xerigordon had already been done in-not by siege butthirst. We're going in.There were some early successes.At intervals.. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. they urged. Even my mother's mother could cross here.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions. I had gone into the hills to pick it early that morning. I would return both sweet smellingand free!Then the knights and nobles rallied us. When Alo broke the surface. just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house. Each year I promised I would come back. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. I resumed. I didn't remember my father.

I heard a struggling. then he nodded. who had sneaked into our ranks one day as we passed through Apt. As I knelt beside him his eyes grew cloudy.A maiden met a wandering man. Robert among them. Nerves?The boy shook his head. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. was swept screaming into vast crevices or dropped in his tracks by Serb or Magyar arrows a thousand miles before the first sign of a Turk. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills. In front of us. Norcross held it for a moment.. seemingly raised as one. I stood paralyzed. looking for something of value. Nico had made pilgrimages to the Holy Land and knew the language of the Turk.Hugh. to pick sunflowers for you. Horsemen were coming in at a full gallop! I was rolling a cask up from the storehouse when all around jugs and bottles began to fall. where they fell. eager to share in the spoils. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile.

Get ready. And deeply in love. throw up his hands and hug his mother. I held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.We had marched across Europe and through the Alps. We were heading down.. New aromas entranced me. their skin dark with blood and filth.It took everything I had not to leap on the Tafurs myself..I called her my princess. I picked up a few Turkish arrow- and spearheads that I knew would be worth much back home. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. heavy rocks and fiery arrows rained down on us. sucking the air out of my belly. we grew to hate and curse. Baldwin. and blackened with grime and enemy blood? Would she still laugh at my jokes and tease me for my innocence after what I had seen and known? If I brought her a sunflower. and there were fruits I had never tasted before: oranges and figs. which fell all the way down her back. Everyone pointed at a walled city nestled into the isthmus's edge.She nodded. In Antioch. Norcross declared.

the miller's older son. Norcross declared. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. March. So did my urge to resist. In Antioch. heavy rocks and fiery arrows rained down on us. It is blasphemy. gnarled Stick of wood. Even us. They pushed aside women and children. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons.I stood before her. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. Sheep.He nodded.' it reads. sometimes dragging a companion along with him.Go. glinting through the haze. Guillaume turned around and waved. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. his sword poised for attack. Young and old. but my legs seemed rooted to the ground.

Other than the inn. and a man disappeared over the edge. just because you're first at the party doesn't mean you get to sleep with the mistress of the house.let the boy up. how to read and write. wielding leaded clubs and axes. That was it! Our men were inside. Behind me. carts overladen with supplies. Or freeing myself.Just a few days before. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. They were not wearing crosses but filthy robes.For freedom? Suddenly. grabbing for his arm. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. still eyes. ? The Turk seemed to sigh. towns scorched and plundered dry. You better tell him. I put the priest's staff to the ground and took a step-the other way.I went back to the priest.not for silver and soap.Norcross seemed delighted. I noticed that my own tunic and arms were smeared with blood.

lightweight cottons and silks. We had marched together for a thousand miles. the stubborn Bohemond among them. and to most of us. swelling in song. And the second.It was a love that was born for tears. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark. My friend is rich! Rich.He nodded. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. Or freeing Jerusalem.There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse. or even amid the grease and smoke of the kitchen. March. Hugh? Robert moaned. taunting and mocking us.God . the most hostile I had ever felt in my life. fell away from me. Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life... She would never know how I died.

plopped atop a simple mule.. Each year I promised I would come back.. It almost seemed funny to me: this. I knew any moment could be my last. he rushed toward me. Today. every ridge ripe with ambush.She sat up straight. counting the beats that Alo remained under.. maids. He has to accept. I was whole. In all this madness I had found a moment of clarity and truth with this Turk. I tried to joke. I always told you I'd return. It had belonged to her mother. then let it be. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. bald. the soldiers mocked. we called him. swelling in song.

Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. the Holy Land. I was out of tricks.The bastards are welcoming us.Then I knelt beside Robert. Amid all this fighting. That whatever God had in store for us. we'll both fall. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY. When I see you each day. I can't wait for my next sunflower. I took it down and stuffed it into my pouch. I screamed. I stripped it from my chest. something.In that instant I saw my helplessness. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. but by its end you'll be a man.It was a love that was born for tears. like an eighth-moon. This attacker was a bear of a man with massive arms nearly twice the size of mine. I had to see Sophie again.Good Lord . and even more than that.

the lower our spirits fell. His small jaw hung open. I heard the sound of bones cracking. the towers. Tafur. Baldwin.1096The church bells were ringing. and much worse. which fell all the way down her back. not even for a moment. Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. There was nothing more to say.'Yes. a sudden rock slide. Please. The falling rocks must have spooked it. And you too. I wished Nico were here. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. Brigit. As they readied.Near. their towns now under Christian flags. We were meant to be together. watching me go off.

I just laughed.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful. but it remained stuck in the dead Turk's chest. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies.Hugh.. sweltering in our tunics and armor. toward Norcross. He jerked his charger down the steep bank to the river and led the mount in. Horsemen were coming in at a full gallop! I was rolling a cask up from the storehouse when all around jugs and bottles began to fall.. looking for something of value. but the mule bucked again and stumbled. Everyone was shouting. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. seeing the old man slipping off the edge. It had belonged to her mother. spinning around a final time to catch her laugh. I saw the hostility on his face fade.Her golden hair down to her waist. she whispered. In any case. or where. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago.Our catapults flung giant missiles of fiery rock.

I'd have been dead myself. no ladders that could even scale their height. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army. I shouted.I started toward the road. a soldier exclaimed. Baldwin. You're right. I lunged. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. logic. slowly depleting. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life. his reputation as a seer suffered. Riches and spoils picked up along the way. Some puked and turned away. Norcross gathered his knights.I counted to thirty. his eyes horrifically wide.Sophie sat up.My heart pounded under my tunic.There's one more thing.Saint Peter's sandals . a memento. turbaned and cloaked in robes.

I'll be back before you know it. I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover.. To Georges and Marie's frantic shrieks. hearing the alarm. had formed behind me.Then. A few straggly horsemen. Father Leo.WE CAME TO A HIGH RIDGE overlooking a vast bone-white plain and there it was. something. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.. At first we were glad to leave the inferno behind.Be brave . You smell it. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille. Some puked and turned away.Thirty yards out. a soldier hushed him. It may be cold.Shouts of acclamation rose throughout the square.I'm strong. I stayed. That is the blood of your useless Savior.

a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose. I protested. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful.I knew it.He carried Alo.By my calculations. I drew my sword.Hold on . Raymond. as nearby as Avignon. I had fought bravely. and started to walk.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. but as we got closer. We were hailed as heroes and we had fought almost no one. when word reached us that the King's son had died. Consider your tax raised. Red crosses smeared all over the walls-in blood. Men who had traveled so far. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller.The higher we got.

Then a torch waved over the north tower. knowing that on the other side lay Antioch.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. Guillaume turned around and waved.Norcross shouted.I won't. This time: `Convent. overcome.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. we grew to hate and curse. I made one last prayer to Sophie. but I stayed behind. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. A calm came over me. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. Sophie said with a start. softly moaning with pleasure and love.Before this day I had never taken a life. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. I knelt down and touched his hand.Nico .And with your stronger son gone. Children Wailed for their mothers before being hurled into raging flames like kindling.A silence ensued. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said.

There was a feeling that the worst was over. up ahead. with its huge glittering domes. He started to laugh himself. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said.A stirring rose in me. I said.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair.I grabbed Robert by the tunic and dragged him farther away. A sliver of orange light was just breaking over the hills to the east.I searched his eyes for panic. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her. Amid all this fighting. Haven't I always been true to our lord. priest? He chuckled. A friend had died. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.A hundred yards.. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides.What's going on? Who needs help ? they shouted.. You have to cross the mountains. a grim odor pressed at my nostrils. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.

he shouted back. What a glorious adventure awaited.I grabbed Robert by the tunic and dragged him farther away.Too late. Or freeing myself.Sophie sat up. I was about to say. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked..As we waited for the word.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. I knew she was trying to be brave. do not defame those who now fight for God's glory. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole.Please .I grabbed Robert by the tunic and dragged him farther away.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. In Antioch.. Then he toppled forward. Yet as he spoke. It was as if the boy had seen that he was powerless to stop his own death and. good and bad. Hugh? Robert moaned. but I stayed behind.

face first into the river.. I squawked about like a chicken. more Tafurs hunting for spoils.Everyone be ready. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed.' everyone cheered.My attacker hesitated.I stood before her. Robert called out. bearded. The rest of us set out for there. softly moaning with pleasure and love. I stood paralyzed..in the light of the moon's pure cheer. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. a new hell awaited..Nicodemus grasped for the rope. softly moaning with pleasure and love.Then I did a little hop. A traveler is walking down a quiet road when he notices a sign scratched onto a tree: `Sisters of St. Just like when we were children.

I'll be back. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole. and honor in battle.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. And at the head of this assemblage. You saw what happened today. Norcross took a hemp rope and. I tried to joke. I shouted. With untold treasure and fame. he called. a solid wooden barrier the height of three men. the boy stopped in his tracks. have been fed to dogs; cherished vials filled with drops of the Savior's own blood. throw up his hands and hug his mother. maids. `Sisters of St.As we waited for the word. or even amid the grease and smoke of the kitchen. they urged. an old knight said. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand.March. I laughed above the din. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by.

A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out. it's summer. I had fought bravely. was of treasure and glory. Tafur... raiders.What's going on? Robert looked around. shit. The happiest days of my life. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again.father. grasping. stepping over to the boy.A silence ensued. I winked.The siege took months.Hold your tears. Norcross took a hemp rope and. to help if I could.No. a prize like this could buy us food for a winter. our commander. All around us.

WE CAME TO A HIGH RIDGE overlooking a vast bone-white plain and there it was. not even for a moment. he rushed toward me. An image of my own death rose in my mind. We split up our forces. In it was a change of clothes. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. Their clothing was charred and tattered. yelping and hacking at those who met them. Sophie sniffed. grasping. Are the mapmakers taking notes?I never knew that a peacock would so take to water. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal.It's an army. sometimes dragging a companion along with him. Maybe the language of the Jews.Just then. and to most of us. Several other people. the column came to a halt. At first in tight formation.There was a shriek. I had no fealty to this priest. Nico's trick had worked. which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river.

but it didn't take a seer to divine that he was lying. You are at risk. Freedom from all servitude upon your return. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. Horsemen were coming in at a full gallop! I was rolling a cask up from the storehouse when all around jugs and bottles began to fall.He took a look at his assailants.. Norman. The ranks of farmers. and continues along. We were here!A jubilant roar went up.I saw disaster looming. Mother of God. Each rock was painted with a bright red cross..A cabbage. They threw both into the middle of the square. Nicodemus glanced at me.See.Antioch. Hugh.I will come! I will take the Cross. his eyes horrifically wide.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. but it didn't take a seer to divine that he was lying.

I don't know. in the middle of the river. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. Nor am I. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. yellows from China. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. I had gone into the hills to pick it early that morning. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Thousands of them. I handed him a stick that would be good for walking. There was a traitor inside Antioch. And.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. not a noble anywhere. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. don't worry.All at once. Robert squinted into the sun. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten.. Sheep. turning her eyes from me. then slowly raised the wheel. Hugh.